Life is hectic, life is manic. As modern women, we take pride in how much we are able to accomplish in a day. Multi tasking is a given, the question is, how many tasks can you do simultaneously?
Since I work from home and for myself, my periods of intense activity come in bursts. I have times when I can’t even think straight I’m so busy to vegging on the sofa during the day. But the down times are few and far between, mostly I live in manic activity. Lately I have been so busy that I can recall conversations but not with whom or where they took place. I was not fully present obviously, or I would be able to remember these things.
Then something happens to make you stop and think. In this case, it was a terrible something. A young person was taken very suddenly, a senseless accident. I saw how his friends are still in shock, I can’t even begin to imagine what his parents are going through. Gone, in an instant, before he even had a chance at life.
I was always a bit cynical about the ” live each day as if it could be your last” thing. How incredibly tiring to live that way, I thought, too intense. But now I see it’s not about intensity, it’s about intent. If you do everything with thought, then you are fully present in your own life. When I go, I don’t want a string of half done, half assed projects that I can half remember to be my legacy.
So I hope to take a bit more time and care in everything I do. I’m not striving for perfection, just to go about each day with a little more thought and a little less action.
As if to send me on my way, I went to a meditation class last night given by my neighbour S. She demystified it and made it something accessible. Creating stillness, making the periods of jangly activity farther apart, these are all by products of meditation. Armed with this new tool, I hope to recreate that blissed out feeling I had last night during class on a more regular basis.